Homo for the Hollidays

Well, I finally had to give the Land Rover back to my body-building Bi- Boyfriend the Hatmaker, but not after collecting several hitchhikers down by Bentonsport to tide me over for my Winter up-keeping. I was giving one of them the whole "It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again" speech when Das Pood really jumped down into the pit with him - I've got to stop watching that movie in front of my puppsy-wuppsy-wover-dover luv-dog!

Not wanting to make the same mistake as my fictional counterpart, that hitchhiker quickly ended up on the barbie and the other ones went for winter canning. I even went to the extra effort to make a Turdfucken (you put organs from one hitchhiker into the organs of another and then the organs of another - I think you can guess which ones!) for Christmas, and, boy, was it TASTEY!

I had my first venereal disease of the new year (thanks Torrid!), so things were a little slow around New Years as the Hatmaker pleasured me through a Dental Dam while I soaked in a penicillin marinade.

Other than that, Gay Roger has claimed if I buy him 13 bottles of the Doctor he'll help me put a "submit" button here on the blog, so all you pathetic tapeworms can submit appropriately, and often.