Five Things ...

Five Inanimate Things I Love:

1. My Lady Finger ... not the digit, my dildo
2. My can of Van Kamps Pork'n'Beans cause there ain't no gas shortage on Market Street!
3. Raccoons, of course!
4. Dilbert
5. Amateur Pornographic Photography

Five Sounds I Love:

1. The snapping of Jeff's brittle bones beneath the wheels of my S.U.V.
2. The squeak-squeak of something well-lubricated sliding in and out of a special place.
3. The sand-paper sound of something sliding in and out of a not-so-well lubricated place
4. The swish of an S.B.D. Poodle Fart
5. The sound of a man pissing

Five Words I Love:

1. Fag
2. Bungaranamus
3. Poop-shoot (or is it Chute? Either way works for me!)
4. Ritualistic Execution (thinking of Jeff again)
5. Dead Deadhead

Five Places I Love:

1. My Cha-Cha
2. My Bungaranamus
3. My Left Tit
4. The little man in the boat
5. Coralville